“Vampire Breath” is the forty-ninth book in the original Goosebumps book series. It was first published in 1996. The original cover illustration shows Count Nightwing briefly emerged from his coffin with dead flowers in his left hand and a bottle of Vampire Breath in front of his coffin. [insert funny sexual innuendos about sucking somebody dry here.]

Drew and her best friend Walker are eager to get even after getting pranked two years ago by Tabitha and Lee. It’s Halloween, the perfect time for some scary revenge. The only problem is Drew hasn’t come up with a good prank. Yep, it’s literally been two years since she and Walker got pranked, and in TWO YEARS they still haven’t thought of a way to get back at Tabitha and Lee. Like, for the love of god– just put a flaming bag of poop on their doorstep and call it a day already!

The boys read the first short story from Tales to Give You Goosebumps, then watch the TV episode that goes with it.

Justin and his sister Marissa are traveling with their father in the woods of Brovania. Bro! Brovania is home to the legendary Lost Legend, a highly-prized tome that has eluded treasure hunters for five hundred years. Justin and Marissa might just be able to find it… if they can get through all the bullshit nonsense that R.L. Stine* has in store for them.

*’s ghostwriters

Guess who’s staying with a relative? Yep, Gretchen and her stepbrother Clark are shacking up with the grandparents. At first it’s a dull affair, but then Gretchen starts hearing strange noises from the locked room upstairs… Could her grandparents be keeping… a monster? Nah, it’s probably just some weird kinky sex room. Meanwhile, Ned, Bob, and Jason attempt to get some sponsors. Enjoy a refreshing Hamster© today!

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Greg is wicked bummed when his teacher, Mr. Saur, doesn’t believe his report on the evil camera. When he gets an F on his report, Greg decides to go find the camera and prove he’s telling the truth. But wouldn’t you know it: the evil camera is still evil? Meanwhile, the TV show couldn’t get Ryan Gosling back to reprise his role as Greg– well look at Mr. Bigshot here, too good for low-budget Canadian television.

Ginger and her twin brothers Pat and Nat find themselves lost in the woods. They stumble upon a place where the trees are unnaturally high, the bushes are purple, and the grass is yellow. Then they’re confronted by the Beasts, big blue throbbing veiny– whoops, sorry, wrong book. Big blue creatures that want to play a game… an insidious game… a horrifying game: tag.